This is my plea to Leelah Alcorn on the side of the road. Run. Turn around and run. Run from what you were about to do. Run away from the life you know. Disappear across the continent. If you’re about to end this life anyway, then you have nothing left to lose. You’re 17. One more year and they can’t touch you anymore. Until then, run. Get the fuck out of there and do whatever you need to do to survive to 18. Do whatever you need to do to get relief. Do whatever you need to do to get what you need to be whole. WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO. When you’ve got nothing left to lose, there are no rules! You’re free!
I’m not gonna try to tell you to “get help”, call a hotline, seek a counselor, etc. because I think you already know about that stuff and you have your reasons. I’m saying DO WHATEVER YOU NEED TO DO to stay alive. Shoplift. Steal cash and credit cards. Become a prostitute. Deal drugs. Hitchhike. Squat in an abandoned building. Squat in someone’s vacation home. Live on the beach. Find a place to crash on craigslist. If you need to numb the pain, do whatever you need to do to numb it. If cutting yourself numbs the pain, then cut. Try heroin, I hear it’s lovely. Drink. Be a functional alcoholic. Be a non-functional alcoholic!
Run. Just do whatever you need to stay alive long enough to make it to us. You know we’re out here somewhere, beyond the bounds of your old life. And now those boundaries are meaningless. So just run! Don’t take that last step. Turn around and run. Please.